The Apostolic Faith Church Frowns at Married Women Denying Their Husbands Sex

Gbenro Adesina

The Authority of The Apostolic Faith Church of the West and Central Africa (WECA), has urged legitimately married women not to deny their husbands sex, stressing that it is totally unscriptural and ungodly to do so.

This was part of the submissions made at a Family Education programme titled, “Managing responsibilities in marital relationship”, one of the activities lined up for the church’s ongoing Camp Meeting, holding from August 1-15, 2021.

In the programme, four facilitators spoke on different topics. While  Sewa Oresotu spoke on the “Role of Wife in the home”, covering spiritual support, home keeping, submission, respect, training the children and unconditional love, Charles Oni talked about the “Role of the husband in the home”, which are leadership, unconditional love and family care. Also, Yetunde Sonowo spoke on “Storm in the tea cup”, dwelling on effective communication and forgiveness and Sola Opaleye spoke on “Couple’s joint responsibilities/parent’s interference”

Responding to questions by the participants of the programme, one of the church’s Board members, Rev Emmanuel Moh said, “Women, do not lock the door, do not lock the gate. Do not use the gate as a means of obtaining favour or as toll gate”.

Moh said that denying the husbands sex is a practice of the worldly people, pointing out, “It should not be mentioned among the children of God. The Bible says, ‘defraud thee not one another except for a while that you may give yourselves to prayers’. This is found in 1Corinthians, chapter 7. Defrauding is not the Christians’ virtue. So, those of you, who use it as toll gate, you are creating problems, not only for your husband, but for yourself also”.

However, he warned Christian husbands to desist from ungodly acts when they are being denied of sex, saying cheating on the wife, masturbation, fornication and other devices of satisfying sexual urge because of wife’s denial are satanic and destructive.

He stated, “No, God does not encourage us to do that. The Bible does not encourage us to do that. When you do that, you are destroying yourself. Dr Salami is here. He can tell you that even medically, you are ruining yourself. It is the filthiness of the flesh and you should not do it. Instead, make peace with your spouse, make peace with your wife and pray. God will help you”.

“If you are yet unmarried, wait for your turn. Don’t set the fire when you are not yet prepared for living, for the things you cannot manage. Don’t go and start a building you cannot finish or a war you cannot win, no, that is self-destructive”, he added.

Reiterating the ungodliness of sex denial, Moh said, “The sex refusal, the word is no, no and no because you that is even closing the gate, is it your property? It is not your own. It is given by God exclusively for married couples. It is a mutual thing. It is God given and if you notice, right from the beginning, right from Genesis, God said, I will give thee a help meet. So that provision has been made when you made the pledge. Therefore, shall a man leave his father and mother and shall cleave unto the wife and the two shall become one flesh. On the marriage day, the officiating minister will ask, who giveth this woman to be married to this man? The father will answer, I do. At that point in time, you have been handed over to who? To the husband, to the man. All that you have, all that you own, all that you will ever have, as long as God gives you breath and the two of you are planning and working together for heaven, belong to who, him. You are his property. So locking of gate is unchristian”.

A contributor added that at the time a wife is denying her husband sex, the husband should learn to keep their bodies, stressing, “A Christian is expected to keep the body before marriage. The bible is emphatical about this. 1Corinthian, chapter 7, explains that area very very neatly. If your wife denies you, you should know something is wrong. Something has gone wrong and you need to call your wife and reconcile. Get things right. Before it is right, keep your body. A man should have control over the flesh just like the woman. That is the strength we have as Christians. What about if your wife is sick and you have the urge, will you kill her? Or go out and fornicate? We want to make use of our grace given to us as Christians in all circumstances”.

Speaking on a situation where a wife earns more than the husband, Moh affirmed the Biblical position that a man, who could not provide for his house is worst than an infidel.

He urged men to be transparent with their wives, particularly, during the time they are not buoyant, emphasising the importance of communication, openness, understanding and other Christian virtues between a husband and wife.

The clergy man explained, “At one point, God will raise the man to a level that he is the bread winner. At another time, it can be the woman. So, when God has now raised you (woman) to that level, where you are now, support financially, because it is not only the spiritual support, now is the financial support, that is not the time for you to begin to quote scripture that says a man that is unable to take care of his home, is worse than infidel, no. If there is love, you will understand that your husband doesn’t have as at now, when he had it, he was doing it”. So, it is not an issue of the wife now taking over the home or taking the position of dictating how the home should be run, no”.

He admonished men to take their wives out whenever they could afford it saying, “It is good for a woman to know how to cook. But these days, when everybody is running after this and that, the caterer, home service is still available. If God has so endowed you and blessed you, just place order for the salad, place order for the variety of food. When the wife comes in and sees it, will she not praise you? I didn’t say women shouldn’t cook food. Society is transforming, changing so fast. We are talking about things that can make you meet together. We are talking about having quality time. Take your wife out when the means is there. Eat out. It is not every day that you must eat at home. Take her to some places, give your wife reason to remember some days. Do it when you have money so that when the time change, she can remember the ones you have done before. This will help her to cope and forebear, when things change and she will say I know him, when he has, he will do. Now that he doesn’t have, I can support”.